SUPERMARKET SCRIPT

Projector is turned on. 

Supermarket basket- full of tins and milk etc. 

Otherwise bare stage. Kath wears an old green coat and trainers. She generally looks pretty mumsy.

(Under the coat she has some kind of hippy getup on.)

Kath (live):

Hello everyone and welcome to the show…

I'd like to share a story with you. The story is called the Supermarket and the Lake of healing. 

And it all started with the weekly shop….

Kath (disembodied):

Kath wonders about the stage pretending to be in a superrmaket. 

Hmmmm…. I think I should get some batteries as 6 for 2.99 is quite good value…

Right I'm  making a chilli on Thursday I best get some chopped tomatoes…  I could liven up the recipe with Jerk Chicken paste or some big bits of beetroot. 

I should get some toilet paper too. Extract of jojoba will keep me feeling fresh and bright like a plant. Or perhaps I'll get soft, yes it's always lovely to feel something soft on the toilet.

And maybe some apples too. Jeff likes pink ladies, these ones are quite cheap, these ones are low in sugar. These ones come all the way from South Africa!

Kath shows looking at different apples, fretting about which to buy. 

I think i'll get... Braburns… NO!!!! Pink ladies!!!!  

There's too much choice!!!!! It's all going black!!!!!!!!!

She puts her arms over her head and crouches down. The projection goes black...

Kath puts down the shopping basket off stage and takes off her mumsy coat to reveal the hippy get-up underneath. 

Kath (live):

I'd suffered an existential crisis, and when I came to, I found myself in a meditation workshop. 

Rick Clarke (Disembodied):

Welcome… to the lake of healing.

Here, you will have the opportunity to go to a special place, and heal yourself

There are 3 types of healing; spiritual healing, emotional healing and physical healing, such as scabs.

This meditation is done in the mesopotamian dance, so do make sure you're wearing a protective hat and elbow pads. 

It is important to visualise as much as possible, the scenes which I am about to describe. 

But first of all, take your attention to your nose and nostrils.

I want you to clench the muscles in your nose as much as is feasible and as you do so, a wave of relaxation spreads from out of your nostrils and spreads over your moustache, if you have a moustache, over your mouth and chin and ends up on your shirt. But don't worry, that will easily wash out. 

And the wave of relaxation goes into your shoulders. And as it does so, just let them drop. Just let them drop. 

As they do so, you let them drop down the sides of the your body, and down towards your hips, and if you can, let them drop down the sides of you legs, all the way to your feet. 

And if you manage to get them all the way to your feet then you really are doing very well. And your'e probably feeling very relaxed. 

The leader of the workshop had thick, flaxen hair like a Labrador. 

Now I want you to visualise a sacred lake, or pond in a beautiful landscape-  really any small body of water will be adequate for this meditation. 

 I was transfixed. His voice was so soothing, tender as a mother's touch.

And I want you to imagine picking up a small pebble or rock, or pinecone, and throwing it into the lake

I felt and he loved and forgave me for being human at the same time., validating all my pain. 

And as it hits the water, small waves ripple outwards. And continue to emanate outwards. And they spread outwards, and they continue to spread and ripple and emanate outwards. 

And as they do so, you feel very relaxed. 

Like a boiled egg, the top of me lifted off and yolk of my spirit soared into the sky. 

Now the wave of relaxation begins to take effect. It moves up over your feet and shins and up over your underpants and chest. And then up over your face. 

And then it moves up over your hat. 

And then flies off, towards the east, very majestically. 

I transgressed the parameters of my body and expanded and expanded and expanded

Your now feeling more and more relaxed. And remember it's ok to dribble.

And at this stage I want you to see that there is a sacred dolphin swimming in the pond or lake. And he pops his little dolphin head up over the water and he says to you

"Just relax, just relax, Squawwrk… Just relax"

And as he delivers this special message to you, you sit by the side of the lake and you slowly realise that everything os ok. 

The projection fades out slowly and says 'the end'.